Monday, 9 April 2018

Spring...


Hey lovelies!





Does this dress not scrreeaamm Spring to you?! It does for me! A light enough fabric that you wont overheat if its sunny but long sleeves because...English Springs :/ The pinky nude colour and the delicate embroidery. The flowers, birds and lovely length of it...I think it may just be the perfect Spring dress (and it's from ASOS fyi).



Today I wana talk to you all about social media, but in particular, editing your social media. No, I don't mean how you edit your photos for the gram :') I'm talking about how it can do you the world of good to edit your social media in terms of who you follow, what you are exposing yourself to what content you are consuming because here on social media, we are all consumers and the amount of information we are swallowing up and taking in every minute we are online is INSANE. So it should be carefully curated. 




So, how do you get started with overhauling your social media accounts? Well, a good place to start is unfollowing anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself in any way. Block people who offend you/upset you/piss you off. You are not being "too sensitive" by doing this like many would have you believe! Your social media is YOUR space online and if you wouldn't want these people in your real life space every day, why on earth are you letting them into your online space every day?! That is the key that people forget, i think...that you dont have to have anyone on your social media if you dont want to. It doesnt make you immature or sensitive or a "snowflake", it makes you smart and realistic. Just as you arent going to like to spend time with certain people in real life situations it is okay to not want to see their shit all over your social media either. It is ok to unfollow/block people who are negatively impacting your online life.




Equally important is to remember that when things get too heavy on social media it is ok to take a break from it. Yes, it is of course important to know what is going on in the world and to contribute to serious topics when you can/want to BUT, for example, recently my entire twitter feed was covered in peoples opinions about a recent rape case that got thrown out in court. I couldnt scroll for two seconds without seeing people retweet the disgusting things men were saying in favour of the rapists and quote tweeting all of the evidence from the case including the awful things these men had said about women. It got to me. It makes me so angry at the world and just want to hide away because I'm sick of being shown every day how dark and abhorrent the world is right now. So, I took a step back. I asked myself how, at this point, was seeing all of this helpful for me in any way. It wasn't. I knew what had happened, I shared my opinion and I knew others opinions. Beyond that there was not much more for me to get or gain out of reading these things over and over again. And sometimes it is ok to put yourself and your wellbeing first. I took a couple of days away from twitter and when that story died down a bit I was back on and feeling much better. It is ok to admit that these heavy subjects affect us every now and then and that not every battle is ours to fight every time.







Another important step in editing your social media is remembering that adding more positive things to the mix can be just as important and beneficial as getting rid of the negative. And whilst insta babes who post selfies with inspirational pinterest quotes as captions are lovely, that is not what im talking about here. Think about not only what you WANT to see more of which for me was more plus size babes, more people of colour, more diversity! But also, what you NEED to see more of which for me was more disabled people and people with chronic illnesses/diseases/conditions. So, I sought out disabled bloggers and youtubers living with illnesses like mine and omg it has been life changing! 





Every day now one of the new people I follow will tweet or blog or vlog about something and it affirms things Ive felt or thought that no one else around me IRL can understand. It makes my feelings feel valid. I feel heard. I feel less alone and honestly it is helping me be more ok with this hand I have been dealt. So much so that even the language I am using in real life is changing. I had never even heard of the term "part time wheelchair user" before finding these people online and as someone who only has to use a wheelchair sometimes I have a real mixed bag of complex emotions about it. I feel awkward and embarrassed and sometimes ashamed when I do need to use one because it isnt all the time. If I dont use one though because of these thoughts I often end up feeling stupid because my body is left wrecked because I pushed it to do things it couldnt that day. I feel like a fraud when I use one but have to get up out of it for a second for whatever reason like strangers around me are thinking OOOH LOOK SHES UP AND SHES WALKING! SHES A FRAUD SHE DOESNT NEED A WHEELCHAIR! But, as I am now trying to refer to myself as a part time wheelchair user I already feel those things slightly less. I feel more positive about having to use one the next time I need it. We want to book a holiday soon and for the first time I am going to talk to the travel agent about my need for a wheelchair and accessible rooms from the start. This made me cry every time i thought of it a few months ago but now, because of these bloggers, I am coming to terms with it. They have made me see that I am valid in my need for a wheelchair some of the time and I feel positive moving foward about choosing to use one in order to manage my pain/swelling/mobility issues and conserve my energy rather than ruining my days/trips/memories because I force myself to do things I cant physically do and then end up much worse off.





Don't underestimate the power of who you follow (and don't follow) on social media! And broaden your horizons! Follow people who are like you but also people who are not like you at all! How else would you be exposed to their opinions/experiences?! It will ultimately make us all much more understanding, compassionate people and that can only be a good thing!

Peace & Love xxx

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