Saturday, 26 September 2015

"If you cant love yourself how in the hell are you guna love somebody else?!"... RuPaul

Today, Ladies and Gentlemen I will be talking about Self Love. 

I cannot be the only person like this. I can't see how it would be possible that I am the only human who thinks this way. And that makes me sad. I don't want you to feel how I feel. So I am guna give myself and anyone else who feels this way a good talking to. Right here. Right now.

I am a good person. I know that. I can say it with confidence. I give to charities. I help old ladies reach stuff on the top shelf at supermarkets. I do anything and everything I can to help those around me. All of this is important. What is not important?! My looks. The way I look is not important. least it shouldn't be. is. The honest truth is that the way I look is obviously waaaayy too important to me because I worry about it all the frickin time. Too much. And I am certain that I am not the only one!

So recently, I have realised something. As a teenager I was a bit of a twat. Not the worst kind of twat. But I was a twat none the less. Now, however, as an adult who has been through their fair share of shit recently I can say that I am much more thoughtful. I am much more kind and I am much LESS judgemental. That's the crucial part. As humans, we judge eachother. We are all guilty of looking at someone we know nothing about and judging them. Judging the way they look, the way they walk, they way they smell, the way they are behaving. We have all done it. Recently, though, if I find myself snap-judging someone I instantly correct myself. For instance, today in the supermarket I spotted a mother and her child. The child looked about 5 to me. He was sitting in a buggy. Just a normal light weight buggy, with a baby bottle in his hand. Instantly, I thought oh he is too big to be in that buggy surely?! But a mili-second later my mind told me there is most probably a reason why he is in the buggy and that it was not my place to question that either. I am not his mother. He could have a number of ailments that would mean he can't walk that far or can't eat solid foods (that's maybe why he had the baby bottle). Who knows?! I don't! And you don't! Another example of my mind at work recently was seeing a lady walking down the street in what appeared to be pyjamas and last nights makeup and the most god-awful choice of socks and strappy sandals I have ever laid eyes on. Instantly, I thought...oh honey WHAT do you look like?! But then my mind said you have no idea what she has just been through or where she has come from or where she is going. She may be having the worst day of her life right now and is rushing to be with her family in whatever she was wearing in the house. 

I know I may sound like an awful person admitting my snap-judgements on here but this is my place and I trust that you guys know me better than that by now. My point is we really know nothing about the strangers we pass day to day and even if we did it still isn't our place to judge. Now, I have been making far less snap-judgements about people and the world is a brighter place for it. It's like I've trained my brain to be kinder and to take a second longer when I come across people. It's nice. I like it. You should all try it too! Now what does this have to do with self love?! Well I'll tell ya! I have spent so much time teaching myself to judge others less harshly and yet I judge myself so unbelievably harshly all the time!

It's no secret that I have put weight on over the last year and I am not happy about it. I hate the way I look alot of the time recently and it's sad because deep down I know I am way more than just my looks or my weight. I see girls in shops with their friends and think oh they look great, that outfits lovely, she is stunning and then I hear her shout her size to her mate across the shop and realise she is a bigger size than me! WHAT?! I think I am sooooo awful because of my dress size and yet here is a girl I am admiring and she is a bigger size than me. My point is I am much kinder to others than I am to myself. My second point is that that is stupid because as RuPaul so smartly said, "if you can't love yourself how in the hell are you guna love somebody else?!"

Dress sizes don't matter. They just don't. We have days when we feel like that stupid number is the be all and end all of our lives but the truth is it means nothing at all! Tbh most of the shops can't even agree on what size a size 12 top would be so why should we put so much importance on it?! We shouldn't! It don't mean shit in the grand scheme of things! So long as you are healthy and happy and being a kind human being that is all that matters! If you have put on weight recently, don't be too hard on yourself because the reality is that you probably have had something else take importance in your life over your fitness recently and that is ok because you are only human and you can get back on track when that problem eases off! 

Please stop hating yourself! This is as much a message for myself as it is for you! Would you say the things you say to yourself to a stranger?! Those things you tell yourself on your worst days would you walk up to someone in the street and say that to them?! Probably not. Well I hope you wouldn't! I sure as hell would not. But why is it that I treat total strangers with more kindness than I treat myself?! I give total strangers bodies more compliments than I ever give my own! Why?! That is soooo fucked up! My body does amazing things for me every single damn day and yet I insult it inside my head all the time. It needs to stop!

So let's all join hands and make a promise. Let's all promise to TRY our hardest to stop with the snap judgements of eachother because one day when something tragic happens and you have to run out of the house looking like a homeless crack head you will want to be greeted with kindness, not judgemental looks and sniggers from strangers! Let's all promise to TRY our hardest to be kinder to ourselves. Whether that means complimenting your own looks more or thinking nicer thoughts about yourself because of all you have accomplished today! I guarantee the world would be a nicer place if we all loved ourselves a little bit more and gave ourselves the credit we deserve! Love yourself like you love others because you are bloody worth it and no this post isn't sponsored by Loreal! You are more than enough! You are fucking fabulous in your own way and so ease up a bit when you start to think those nasty things about yourself. You deserve better. So do I. 

Weight doesn't matter. Looks do not matter. What matters is having a kind heart and soul. Treat others with respect and treat yourself just the same! We can do this ladies and gentlegents! I will start us off and I want to see you follow in the comments or if you share this on Facebook/Twitter whatever just copy this same format for yourself ok here goes...

I am Jessica Chelsey and I fucking LOVE myself!

Peace & Love xxxx


  1. What a fabulous post and a wonderful reminder! We all must love ourselves but that can be tough. You are right we do judge ourselves. You are right sometimes we judge others then we have to think we have in idea what they are going through. Thanks for the upbuliding post!


    1. You are more than welcome im happy to help glad u liked it :) xx

  2. What a lovely read xx

  3. Lovely Post!